xiaoshubao 发表于 2022-7-15 16:48   全显示 1楼
整篇看下来，儿子的角色设定感觉有点无力，有点可有可无的意思。绿实际上应该是儿子或者爸爸的视角来看待的，只有这样代入来看，绿文才有感觉。文中的儿子表现太过平静，没有太大的情感波动，甚至还乐意配合妈妈的出轨行为。这个给人感觉就绿的程度不够。而且以儿子的视角来当第一人称做叙述，又带不起读者的情感波动，说是绿文，更纯粹的应该是单纯的手枪文。
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  • 逍遥夢 金币 +8 征文期间，双倍奖励！！ 2022-7-15 17:23
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