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[征文作品] 【春之殇】【背德的调教】【０１４】

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2015-11-1 22:12  显示全部帖子
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整个构思不错，从师生一下子变成了母子，后又进行电话调教，只是可惜作者文笔太过于直白了，没有把女主角的心里变化描写的到位，给人感觉就是沦陷的太快了！对于情节的描写也过于简单，整体来说还是一篇不错的好文！支持！
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  • 尘埃 金币 +6 回复认真 2015-11-2 09:28

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